the kippledrome

to my creepiest fan

2006-04-26T08:55:00.000+10:00

this is a page of autographed photographs of celebrities. many of them i’ve never heard of (i guess they’re from american tv), and most of whom seem to be female and prepubescent. it represents the collection of one wendell cowart, who, the site the site also informs us, is an avid collector of the clothes these young starlets wore in their onscreen appearances.

though i was disappointed to realise he's not some greasy middle-aged troglodyte living in a basement, i think you'll agree it's still a disturbing hobby for a teenage schoolboy to have.

okay wiseguy

2006-04-09T19:32:00.000+10:00

i once saw a book of boring postcards
problem is, once you point to something
and say it’s boring
it becomes interesting
even if only in that sense

similarly, the subjects of flickr photo pool
bad architecture
becomes more interesting for being so labelled

some of it though
like the above
will never be anything other than bad

i guess it's meant to be an elephant

glued to her seat

2006-02-16T16:15:00.000+11:00

apologies if you're a devout kippledrome reader
for not having updated in months

but if you commented
i'd know you exist
and perhaps be a more attentive blogger

you get what you pay for biatches
anyway on with the show

don't go here if you have a morbid aversion
to banner ads in spanish showing men sucking cock
or chicks gettin busy with each other

if you're fine with that kinda thing
and wanna get even more weirded out
then you should immediately head on over to
"glued to her seat"

a collection of fairly amateurishly drawn pictures
of scantily clad women with bar stools attached to their bottoms

don't ask me
i only work here

LOL

2005-12-11T12:43:00.000+11:00

this could be you!

2005-12-09T16:49:00.000+11:00

the four groups of people
the graphic designers of this ad
are unintentionally targetting

1. women who fantasise about having their breasts photographed by a surgeon
2. women who want to photograph a surgeon

3. men who want to be a surgeon because they'll get to take photographs of topless women
4. men who want to be women who fantasise about being photographed topless by a surgeon

ah the internet
thankyou for all you've given me

the brick which the builders rejected

2005-12-08T08:46:00.000+11:00

perhaps inspired by this famous sequence of lego men rolling a joint, the brick testament is stories from the bible illustrated with lego. the site describes its author, the "reverend" brendan powell as "both highly presumptuous and extremely vain". lest the project be taken too seriously, his personal website suggests that jesus's death should be regarded as merely an ancient form of "suicide by cop".

abu ghraib halloween costume for toddlers

2005-11-11T11:06:00.000+11:00

[link]
[link]

i have nothing further to add.

abstract feeling

2005-10-15T22:11:00.000+10:00

BJØRN BJARRE.

936059798

2005-10-14T09:35:00.000+10:00

An inflatable pupil goes to his inflatable school and is having a really bad day.

Bored in his history lesson he gets up and walks out. Walking down the corridor he sees the inflatable headmaster walking towards him and he pulls a knife out and stabs him. He runs out of the school.

As he gets outside he thinks again "I hate school" and pulls his knife out and stabs the inflatable school. He runs off to his inflatable home.

Two hours later his inflatable mum is knocking at his inflatable bedroom door with the inflatable police.

Panicking, the inflatable boy pulls out the knife and stabs himself.

Later on in the evening he wakes up in the inflatable hospital and sees the headmaster is in the inflatable bed next to him.

Shaking his deflated head more in sorrow than in anger, the headmaster gravely intones:

"You've let me down, you've let the school down but, worst of all, you've let yourself down"

jfk reloaded

2005-10-08T10:48:00.000+10:00

i am an enthusiastic student of the jfk assassination, so it was with some excitement that i read of a freeware (technically orphanware) program that simulates the blessed event, jfk reloaded (available here). it's very limited in scope, the interactive part of the game goes for all of 30 seconds and doesn't allow the player to move. the player is a would-be assassin in the sniper's nest on the 6th floor of the texas school book depository. watching the street below, you see the presidential motorcade turn toward the building, approach, turn again and drive away. you have time to squeeze off 5 or 6 shots before it's over.

you're then presented with a replay from any one of a number of angles, which is followed by a ballistics report, showing the angle and trajectory of each shot in relation to the presidential vehicle. then you're awarded a score, which is by far the most bogus part of the game, because the scoring is based on how closely you duplicate the findings of the warren commission, which everyone (excepting the most rabid of patriots) acknowledges was a government whitewash. as an example, you lose points if the first shot hits the target.

if only there were software crackers who shared my sensibilities that could author a patch which allowed shooting from three other positions and based scoring on getting the job done. the company responsible for the program's release last year has apparently gone into hiding, so there's no use hoping that they'll issue it. while the agenda of the program is to support the implausible warren commission findings, in its realism it actually does the opposite. the logistics of the whole event as it actually happened (and as made more obvious by this 3d representation) much more strongly suggest that indeed the fatal head shot most likely came from the famous grassy knoll.

more info here.

Schhh... You Know Xero.

2005-09-28T14:52:00.000+10:00

slogan generator

.

no animals were harmed in the making of this blog post.

2005-09-23T16:06:00.001+10:00

every so often you find a site which is astonishing in both its simplicity and originality, and humanclock is one of those sites. for each minute of the day, the site has a number of photos that present the time in a variety of unusual and interesting ways. if you go there now, it'll tell you want time it is, and present you with a quirky photo from somewhere in the world.

i was so taken with the idea i headed out to the backyard and made my own, for 9:26am (above). i also really like this one for 1:11.

caption contest

2005-09-07T20:35:00.000+10:00

while the graphic design is awful
this page plays host
to some lovely collections of retro photos

fly and be free my pretties...

.

from nowhere to nowhere

2005-09-03T11:46:00.000+10:00

there is no denying jim potts is a bit nutty. his site, gassigns.org, is an indexed collection of hundreds, if not thousands of photographs of gas station signs, many predating the internet. while initally this seems just the sort of pointless crap that the intarweb is made of (which there's no denying), to the persistent user who is willing to scratch below the surface, an insightful and poignant narrative of contemporary history emerges.

this virtual museum of automotive ephemera presents a world shifting and changing in the rear-view mirror. in the face of urban alienation and existential angst, many a wayfarer finds themselves adrift and travelling. in the modern american landscape, in which one place closely resembles the next, as surely as one 7-11 will be just like the last, the little things that remain are these names and logos that serve as signposts on an endless journey from nowhere to nowhere.

many of the photographs are distant and motion-blurred, as if the prize after a long and perilous pursuit. some are accompanied by comments about how rare a certain brand of gas-station is, or how the company has since merged, been taken over, changed its name or gone out of business. thank heavens jim potts and his cohorts were there to record the fragments as they slipped by..

beyond this moving tale, there is amusement to be found in the names of the chains and stores themselves. stare in wide-eyed awe as we see a potted history of the western world since ww2, in the transition from "joy america" to "gas war". chortle like a red-cheeked schoolboy at the site of signs publicly naming this place "kum and go" and "mr. lubrication". and scratch your head in wonder that the word "quick" can be spelled so many other ways: like 'quik', 'kwik', 'kwick' and even 'qwik'.

uncertainty principle

2005-08-31T08:12:00.000+10:00

It was October and the Indians on a remote reservation asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a Chief in a modern society he had never been taught the old secrets. When he looked at the sky he couldn't tell what the winter was going to be like.
Nevertheless, to be on the safe side he told his tribe that the winter was indeed going to be cold and that the members of the village should collect firewood to be prepared. But being a practical leader, after several days he got an idea. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and
asked, "Is the coming winter going to be cold?"
"It looks like this winter is going to be quite cold," the meteorologist at the weather service responded.
So the Chief went back to his people and told them to collect even more firewood in order to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again. "Does it still look like it is going to be a very cold winter?"
"Yes," the man at National Weather Service again replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."
The Chief again went back to his people and ordered them to collect every scrap of firewood they could find. Two weeks later the Chief called the National Weather Service again.
"Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"
"Absolutely," the man replied. "It's looking more and more like it is going to be one of the coldest winters ever."
"How can you be so sure?" the Chief asked.
The weatherman replied, "The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy."

gnostic wtf?

2005-08-24T11:49:00.000+10:00

not really sure what this is
(but isn't that always the way?)

it purports to be about gnosticism
but enemies.com actually seems more to be about
some interesting lowbrow comic-style art

.

aliens flame me in yahoo messenger

2005-08-21T08:16:00.000+10:00

i have for a long time been an aficionado of kooks
and people with extreme beliefs

and in my many years trawling the innerweb
i have yet to find anyone kookier than sherry shriner
who until recently i knew only as 'the watcher'

she is an unstoppable fountain
of christian-satan-ufo-new-world-order ranting

she has 21 websites
and the first page of the main one
is over 11,000 words
most of them along these lines:

Some of you may be wondering what Aliens and UFO stuff have to do with the Bible. The truth is Aliens and UFOs ARE a BIG part of the Bible, New World Order, and last days deception. Yes they exist, they are the fallen angels who rebelled with Lucifer before and even after the flood, and they are coming back with Lucifer to dominate and control the earth in the last days. To be forewarned, is to be prepared. The Lord has called me forth to inform and warn His people about what is coming.

she also claims the people who accost her in yahoo chat
are aliens typing from their orbitting ufos
(her id is sherry_shriner
if you're interested in being mistaken for an alien)

behold the endless insanity that is the sherry shriner.

.

nazbol art

2005-08-18T16:50:00.000+10:00

russia's national bolshevik party are in the news
after that country's supreme court overruled a presidential decision
by vladimir putin to ban the party
in the wake of a series of public relations stunts
that left the govenment red-faced

i'm not sure what they're on about politically
but they have managed to amass a collection of art and artists
which draw powerfully from both socialist and nazi art traditions
and is unlike anything you're likely to see in a local gallery

the work of igor cherchenko, seen above, is particularly haunting

suicide bomber barbie

2005-08-08T21:56:00.000+10:00

simon tyszko, 2002.

maths nerdery

2005-08-08T13:15:00.000+10:00

even if you're not a maths nerd
(and i don't think i am)
these things are still pretty cool

this chick makes metal models of interesting mathematical forms
like this

and this is a virtual rubiks cube
which is kinda handy
since the one i just bought fell to pieces the first time i used it

harumph.

the unexplained

2005-08-03T10:26:00.000+10:00

this is a video file
of a story from a u.s news program

the reporter went out to make fun of some crazy ol negro
who said he could summon ufos

how embarrassing for him
that the ufo actually appeared

in other news
this is supposedly a photograph
of a previously unidentified sea creature
washed up by a monsoon in an eastern province of china

more details here

.

"I'm here to show you that you're worthless"

2005-08-02T10:35:00.000+10:00

on the 16th of february, 1989
a 15 year-old girl named alli
was awoken by strangers coming into her room

they had been summoned by her parents
to take her into the "challenger foundation"
a boot camp for "troubled teens"

the strangers told her
"If you run, we'll handcuff you to the Jeep.
You aren't going to get away, we're bounty hunters.
Your parents are sending you away
because you've been quite awful.
We can help you"

63 days is her horrific story
it's some of the most moving writing i've found online

.

busting out

2005-07-29T19:40:00.000+10:00

busting out is a cool blog
by a mysteriously anonymous ozzie chick

it pokes fun at celebrities
and sometimes has boobies

i was reading it today
and laughing out loud

ya mum loves it
or so she tells me

more wtf?

2005-07-29T08:54:00.000+10:00

sick of your consenting sexual partners accusing you of rape?
well then this is the product for you!

don't be like these accused (or guilty) rapists

the consensual sex form is a legally binding contract
which asserts legal consent
on the part of both "presenter" and "participant"
(i assume it only applies to one-on-one interactions)

one of the clauses affirms that
"the participant isn't under the influence"
(whoever said safe sex had to be boring?)

if you want the pack of forms that apply to ten "uses"
it'll set you back us$199.99..

.

wtf?

2005-07-27T18:37:00.000+10:00

pornstar bears

dunno.

.

now with pushrod operated hook!

2005-07-27T17:45:00.000+10:00

here sonja models the open fitting prosthesis
with elbow controlled central pushrod operated hook

one of the many fine products
from wilmer advanced medical technology
and featured in their online gallery

their manifesto the wilmer approach
breaks new ground in prosthetics development

it boldly declares

In the devices oil, grease and other pollutants have to be omitted.

word.

"It's about freedom to choose, and freedom to express who you are"

2005-07-27T16:29:00.000+10:00

[this is pretty old news,
so forgive me if you've heard it before, but..]

on their website nike offer you the opportunity to customise your shoes
by having a personal id embroidered onto them

jonah peretti decided he wanted the word "sweatshop"
suprisingly nike didn't want to honour the request

the transcript of their email correspondence
is here
and concludes with jonah writing

"Could you please send me a color snapshot
of the ten-year-old Vietnamese girl who makes my shoes?"

corporate ninja

2005-07-26T21:40:00.000+10:00

office politics got you down?

probably not to the extent of the guys behind office guns

they have tested the range, accuracy and velocity
of a varied arsenal of weapons
constructed from freely available office supplies

then there's the advanced guns
like the super maul depicted above

it has a laser sight for improved accuracy
the results below speak for themselves

take that coke can!

conspicuous construction

2005-07-26T16:34:00.000+10:00

norcal waste systems is a san francisco recycling plant
which has had an artist in residence program since 1990

andrew junge has made a hummer out of polystyrene
which, i think you'll agree
makes an interesting comment on consumption and waste

source source

wanna see my "reagan? just say no!" tattoo?

2005-07-26T08:45:00.000+10:00

harley davidson used to brag
that they were the only manufacturer
whose customers tattooed their logo on themselves

this is of course no longer the case
the nike swoosh is not uncommon

and in 2003 a guy named jim nelson
offered up the back of his head
as lasting advertising real estate

he sold the space to webhost ci host
for $7000

another american woman, kerra fowler
in the months preceding the 2004 u.s federal election
offered up the same space on her body on ebay
to host an anti-bush message

her starting price was one cent
it eventually sold for $103.50

there is an interview with the woman herself
and the successful bidder here.

.

post secret

2005-07-25T10:47:00.000+10:00

post secret is like a lofi and artier version of group hug

the idea is people write their confession on a post card
and mail it to the guy
who posts his favourites on his blog

i think this one (above) is my favourite

the comments at the bottom are beautiful too

"Your website is by far one of the most beautiful things found in cyberspace. Amidst all the pornography and spam and lies and scams, to find something so real, so sincere, it moved me to tears."

.

game over

2005-07-23T23:34:00.000+10:00

while they have no doubt been around as long as war or games
war games are still a disturbing trend
(which is not to say i don't occasionally enjoy a bit of virtual violence)

here are two relatively recent multiplayer contributions to the genre

nation states seems a text and web based forum for community interaction
this review suggests its superficially fun
but not much of a keeper in gaming terms
which is a bit of a shame
because it appears to have some potential

more disturbing is america's army
a cutting edge combat computer game
designed by the u.s army for recruitment purposes
apparently at great taxpayer expense

it's designed not only to instill
a code of honour and fighting spirit
but presumably also to generate
an interest in actually enlisting in the army

it is apparently available free
not only from the website
but also on cd-rom from recruitment 'centers'

"and while you're here,
why don't we have a little chat about your career options?"

the download instructions
are in spanish as well as english

.

"and i was like ... nhn??"

2005-07-23T09:58:00.000+10:00

in the c.net top 10 internet fads
the 2002 apple switch ad starring ellen feiss
came in at number 7

american internerds will groan
but if you're not one or other of them
you might have missed an ad for apple computers
starring a clearly adorably stoned
high school chick named ellen feiss

as the cnet page attests
in the intervening time
the ad gained internet cult status
and spawned numerous parodies

the original ad is here in mov format

.

zork

2005-07-23T04:29:00.000+10:00

i remember
back in the day
i would go down to the local library
give them my card
and receive in exchange a 5.25 inch floppy disk
or even two
which i would take to their commodore64
and play 'zork'
a classic of the text adventure genre

now you can join me
in your very stroll down my memory lane

because the original zork is online

.

last night's party

2005-07-23T03:49:00.000+10:00

photos from last night's party
most of which i assumed were taken in new york for some reason

[which also reminds me of
overheard in new york
which is also laugh out loud funny
but not for quite the same reasons]

oh how i yearn for summer
it will be messy

maybe not quite that messy
but messy all the same..

.

moon 2

2005-07-22T20:31:00.000+10:00

well it's a good example of the digital production of irony spirals

i must confess that most of my skepticism of the early moon photos
had been engendered by a tv show called
conspiracy theory: did we land on the moon

here is a page
which convincingly debunks most of the claims of that show

now i don't know what i think..

.

moon

2005-07-21T09:07:00.000+10:00

in honour of the full moon, this is a quicktime panorama of the last human expedition to the moon (that we know of) apollo 17.

the pulldown menu at top right gives access to numerous other panoramas
the burning man one is rather good too

also, if you look at this one from apollo 11
it seems as if the lander is not the kind of construction
you'd expect to be able to crash into another heavenly body

as to whether or not people landed on the moon when they say they did
i can't say
but it does seem to me
there's something especially fishy about the early photos..

.

perfect poaching

2005-07-20T21:04:00.000+10:00

if, like me, you've never wondered
about the best method of poaching an egg
this article is still funny and interesting

"You're supposed to be here to protect me."

2005-07-20T11:45:00.000+10:00

a 911 call transcript

Dispatcher: Sheriff's Department. How can I help you?

Caller: Yeah, I'm over here at the Burger King drive-through in Laguna Niguel, I think.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Caller: I asked them four different times to make me a Western Barbecue Burger. OK, they keep giving me a hamburger with lettuce, tomato, and cheese, onions, and I said I'm not leaving. I want a Western Burger because I just got my kids from tae kwon do, they're hungry, I'm on my way home, and I live in San Clemente.

Dispatcher: Uh-huh.

Caller: OK, she gave me another hamburger. It's wrong. I said I want my hamburger right. So then the mana-ger -- she came up and said, um, "Did you want your money back?" And I said no. I want my hamburger. My kids are hungry, and I have to jump on the freeway. I said, I am not leaving this spot, and I said, I will call the police, because I want my Western Burger done right. Now, is that so hard?

Dispatcher: Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.

Caller: What am I supposed to do?

Dispatcher: I suggest you get your money back and go somewhere else. This is not a criminal issue. We can't go out there and make them make you a cheese-burger the way you want it.

Caller: You're supposed to be here to protect me.

Dispatcher: Is this like... a harmful cheeseburger or something? I don't understand what you want us to do.

Caller: Just come down here. I'm not leaving.

Dispatcher: No, ma'am. I'm not sending the deputies down there over a cheeseburger. You need to go in there and act like an adult and either get your money back or go home.

Caller: She is not acting like an adult herself! I'm sitting here in my car; I just want them to make my kids a Western Burger.

Dispatcher: Ma'am, I suggest you get your money back from the manager and you go on your way home. OK? Bye-bye.

source

teapot cult

2005-07-19T16:49:00.000+10:00

the malaysian 'sky kingdom' sect
venerate a giant teapot
as an image of the healing purity of water

it's a horrible way to find out about them
but they're in the news
because they're under attack from the muslim majority
for drawing people away from islam
and distributing anti-islamic literature

they were recently attacked by a gang of 30 men
weilding molotov cocktails

The roof of the teapot structure is... slightly charred, but since it is made of concrete, the damage is not extensive"

phew.

.

it's funny cos it's mean

2005-07-18T18:37:00.000+10:00

this post, below, was a cruel joke about 'retarded ejaculation'
which i also suggested to cruel.com

they featured it as their cruel site of the day yesterday

it calls itself
the world wide web's bitter aftertaste
each day the page features a different cruel website

it's funny

.

the americans have a secret spaceship

2005-07-18T18:20:00.000+10:00

jon ronson is the author of the entertaining "them"
about extremists and conspiracies

he recently spoke to gary mckinnon
who decided to become a hacker
after seeing 'war games' as a kid

among other exploits
he gained entry to the computers of the u.s space command

for this the u.s justice department wants him extradited
if found guilty, he could be imprisoned for 70 years
he is not excited

"What was the most exciting thing you saw?" I ask.

"I found a list of officers' names," he claims, "under the heading 'Non-Terrestrial Officers'."

"Non-Terrestrial Officers?" I say.

"Yeah, I looked it up," says Gary, "and it's nowhere. It doesn't mean little green men. What I think it means is not earth-based. I found a list of 'fleet-to-fleet transfers', and a list of ship names. I looked them up. They weren't US navy ships. What I saw made me believe they have some kind of spaceship, off-planet."

"The Americans have a secret spaceship?" I ask.

"That's what this trickle of evidence has led me to believe."

who dressed me like this?

2005-07-18T10:55:00.000+10:00

if you've ever enjoyed playing dress-ups
or comicbook-type superheroes
then this is the site for you

basically you get to design superheroes
or at least their costumes

it's a bit of a shame that
they all have to have the same posture
but gift horses and all that..

.

he makes me put my hand in places i don't want

2005-07-18T08:56:00.001+10:00

something i saw on tv this morning

a reporter asked amanda vanstone, the australian immigration minister about her opinion of the as-yet only nebulously defined identity card the goverment has recently been touting. is she in favour? the reporter asks.

this is her curious response:

Well it's a bit like saying would you like something to eat.
If you offer me a dead rat, I'll say no.
It really depends on what you put in an ID card as to whether it's effective.
...
my own view is if you don't have a biometric
encased in the card digitally
for example, a fingerprint
then the card can simply be used by someone else.

So it depends what you want to do with the card.
If you wanted to improve the management of government services
and improve service delivery,
well you don't need a biometric.

But if you want it for proof of identity then you do.

So that, for example, someone who wasn't an Australian
or wasn't entitled to Medicare
couldn't go along with someone else's card
and have a major operation done in a public hospital
on the basis that they were the person on the card.

You won't stop that sort of thing unless you've got a biometric.

ignoring the fact that biometric has not previously been a noun
we know what she means

on a completely unrelated subject
disney world florida now requires
all visitors to undertake a biometric scan

here is some surveillance porn writing
first of a coming landslide of prose
to cater to this newest of fetishes

How do I use a pass that requires finger scans?

Once your fingers are inside the scanner, you will feel a small rubber knob. Place your fingers so that the rubber knob is between the index finger and the middle finger. *LIGHTLY* bring them together so they touch the rubber knob and push your hand all the way in so the web part between your index and middle fingers touches the small plastic spindle at the very front. Do not squeeze the rubber knob tight.

crossposted with my other blog, outrage.

.

wormwood

2005-07-17T21:44:00.000+10:00

in april 1986
the town of chernobyl
experienced a nuclear mishap
causing the deaths
of somewhere between 30 and 400,000 people

the town
once home to 48,000 people
is now uninhabitable
for somewhere between 300 and 900 years

this chick
goes in there with a motorcycle and a geiger counter
and records a harrowing, ominous and fascinating story

.

i will be false to you

2005-07-17T20:55:00.000+10:00

fazed is another of my favourite sites
which is strange because it's remarkably plain

it's a witty collection of constantly updated links
(and inspiration for this blog)
the member's comments are as entertaining as the links themselves

at the moment there's links about ghillie suits
japanese robot wars
goldfish boots
fabio's music
and a poodle disguise for alsatians

the golden age of terrorism

2005-07-17T20:04:00.000+10:00

vienna, december 21 1975

To the Austrian Authorities

We are holding hostage the delegations to the OPEC conference.

We demand the lecture of our communiqué on the Austrian radio and television network every two hours, starting two hours from now. A large bus with windows covered by curtains must be prepared to carry us to the airport Of Vienna tomorrow at 7.00, where a full-tanked DC9 with a crew of three must be ready to take us and our hostages to our destination. Any delay, provocation or unauthorized approach under any guise will endanger the life of our hostages.

The Arm of the Arab Revolution

it was an age of afros, moustaches and flared pants
terrorism was bank roberries, kidnappings
hijackings, airport tarmac standoffs and car chases

the baader-meinhof gang
and the red brigade

it was the golden age of terrorism

carlos the jackal
probably history's most famous terrorist
in vienna in 1975
kidnapped 60 senior government officials
oil ministers and their entourage
from an OPEC conference

he loaded them onto a plane
flew them all to algiers
and later escaped to terrorise another day

read the whole story here at the crime library
itself a repository of fairly good true crime writings..

.

deviant art

2005-07-17T19:42:00.000+10:00

deviant art is not nearly as pr0n as it sounds
it's an online art community
with over 13 million 'deviations' (graphics files)

there are a lot of teenagers sketching anime characters
but there are also some quality artists and artworks

the files are categorised
by means of a strange heirarchy
reflecting the site's origin as a catalogue of skins

the site's greatest strength is probably photography
but the community was a bit upset
and the site became less deserving of its name
when the 'erotica' category was abolished last year

my page is here.

things my girlfriend and i have argued about

2005-07-17T17:43:00.000+10:00

mil millington is really a terribly funny writer
his page things my girlfriend and i have argued about
seems to have spawned a book
and quite rightly too
it's very funny

through all the hair-pulling frustration he expresses
over his long term german gf margret
you can actually see a brightly shining love

it's just after Christmas and Margret's going on about her present, which was, you'll recall, a necklace of a single diamond suspended on a delicate chain of white gold and sapphires. And this is what I hear come out of her mouth - 'Why didn't you get me a wormery, I dropped enough hints?'

question of the week

2005-07-17T17:28:00.000+10:00

every week b3ta post a question of the week

though really it's a theme for amusing anecdotes
at the end of the week, they compile the best responses and choose a new question

here's a response to the topic 'meeting the parents'

I'd been seeing my then girlfriend for some months and had managed to avoid meeting her parents. We were alone in the house and had been getting up to some teenage fumblings when it was time to go home.

I went to call a cab but the missus insisted she did. Got in the cab and was asked the usual small talk by mr driver such as what you been up to, did you have a nice time.

Of course I answered 'fucking right' and went into detail of how dirty she was, how I was only using her for sex (I was an obnoxious arse) and even offered 'you can have a sniff if you like!' (A very obnoxious arse)

Finally got home and asked him how much do I owe you and he said 'nothing, just keep the fuck away from my daughter, as I now know where you live.'

the page linked here
links to some of the web's funniest stories
click the links below "previous question archives"

.

you're not gay, now go play football

2005-07-17T10:36:00.000+10:00

this story is about a teenage boy who's been sent to a bible-thumping bootcamp to ~~punish~~ cure his recently-confessed homosexuality.

it mentions compulsory football games.
cos that's not gay.

the site of the 'remediative ministry' explores the myth of homosexuality:

Exploring the Homosexual Myth

There is no such creation as a "gay" or "homosexual" person. There is only homosexual attraction and behavior; accordingly, there can be no change from a sexual identity that never existed in the first place.

see
it's that easy.

group hug

2005-07-17T04:44:00.000+10:00

i must confess
group hug is one of my favourite sites

anonymous confessions
here's one completely at random

I had sex with 4 different girls in one 24 hour period. one of the was my girlfriend and none of them knew about each other.

some of it's horribly fucked up
a lot of it's adolescents complaining about love gone wrong
and he-said she-said
but it is remarkably raw and honest writing

often funny
sometimes erotic
and very entertaining..

audioscrobbler

2005-07-17T04:32:00.000+10:00

audio piracy is all well and good
the questions become
what p2p app will you use?
and what to do once you download everything you know about?
how to get new search terms or find new music of a similar kind

as a p2p app i use shareaza

i've recently found a clever site
that answers the latter concern
audioscrobbler

you download a plugin for your mp3 app
and it sends the site a list of all the tracks you play
it analyses these
suggests similar artists
and links to the profiles of people with similar tastes

capital

here's my latest lists..

flork

2005-07-17T04:10:00.000+10:00

there are all sorts of friendship network sites
the most famous ones being friendster and myspace
both of which are pretty much emo scenes
to the extent that they're anything

i did get an unusual msg in myspace
as follows;

Subject: HELLO
Body: hello ,

i saw your profile and wants to say hi.You can IM me on my Yahoo ID (***@yahoo.com)So i can get to know more about you.

have fun

***.

on her profile it said:

i will like to meet any single , seperated or divorced man that is caring and ready to share is love with me .i will not mind any region in the world , i will like to meet any man from australia,america, france ,germany,united kingdom ,jamiaca,turkey , etc. the man must be caring,hard working, generous and God fearing and i will also relocate for the sake of love to my mans place.

in my reply i tried to gently make a few pointers
that might increase her chances in future

a similar idea to these sites
but a more stripped-down humble version is flork

just a location and a paragraph
no clubs, no networks, no 'friends'
no favourite music lists
(unless people write them)
maybe a photo
and a messaging system
that's it

it's cute
i like it

retarded ejaculation

2005-07-17T03:59:00.000+10:00

i read some grouphug post complaining of ejaculatory incompetence
so i looked it up

i thought this paragraph was priceless

The old term for this condition was ‘ejaculatory incompetence', but that unfortunate expression is now being dropped, because it suggested that the person was 'incompetent' in some way. So, most sex therapists now prefer to say ‘retarded ejaculation'.